Author's Note: This is a novel that i have been thinking about for a long time, and i figured it was time to show it to the world. Here is the introduction- Expect a normal post next time, sorry for those of you who liked my humor. Please give me feedback if you want the rest put up here :)
[VULGAR LANGUAGE ABOUND]
WARNING: This might be a TL;DR situation, so if you don't like long reading, just skip this.
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(Read this in morgan freeman's voice for full effect.)
Once upon a time, there was a man named Joesph.
Joesph was your ordinary man in your ordinary modern, suburban neighborhood.
Except he was antisocial and hated the outside world. That's a thing.
Joesph devoted the majority of his house to his massive book collection- He was a story-writer afterall and needed some good inspiration to get the books going. Like any good author, he sat at his desk for hours on end while listening to AC-DC.
One day, something very peculiar happened. Something Joesph would never quite forget.
He had been at his desk for an hour and had absolutely no ideas on the fantasy novel he was writing.
Not one idea had popped into his head. Not even an introduction! What was he to do!?
Of course, Joesph remembered the first paragraph of this story where i explained that he had a library for inspiration, so he decided to go there for inspiration. Obviously.
In his library, Joesph scanned through the usual fantasy novels.
His entire collection of The Lord of the Rings was frequently checked, as he was a big fan of fantasy novels. He had other titles there, such as Fifty Shades of Gray, which he saved for his "alone time" occasions.
Eventually after some filler text, Joesph found a very interesting looking book. It looked as dusty as a young male model's schoolbooks and it had as many mysterious symbols on it as Miley Cyrus' "reading material".
As he opened the book, he was incredibly annoyed to find out that the entire, massive book with creepy symbols on it was empty. "What the hell?" Joesph exclaimed. "What's the point of this anyway? It wasn't even here yesterday!" After a few minutes of outburst -because he's insecure- Joesph decided that the best thing to do with the book was to just practice doodling and writing in it, since he had nothing better to do and the whole "Inspiration" idea was basically out of the window at this rate.
Joesph sat at his desk and wrote;
"The great swaying apple tree waved in the wind."
Suddenly, a massive swaying apple tree grew out of the ground, hitting Joesph in the crotch, smashing his desk, and throwing him across the room. After rolling in pain for a few seconds, Joesph got up and had a mental breakdown at what just happened.
"What the shit. What the fucking shit."
Joesph suddenly had a collective aneurysm, and decided to write in the book again;
"A delicious apple was in my hand"
And suddenly, as if on cue, the book glowed and an apple materialized into his hand.
Joesph ate the apple, and realised the fun he could have with this book. The world was his to command. To control. He no longer had to live in this dump, and so he wrote;
"I was in my own dimension; a bright sunny field on a spring day."
And so he was.
-End of introduction-
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